At the end of my fall semester Junior year at Harding University i was at a worship service called, "The Exchange" and a mentor of mine, named Cary, prophesied over me saying that there was something locked in my heart that the Lord was going to reveal to me, it was a desire of my heart. This was frustrating to me because it seemed so generic, and i wasn't hiding anything from the Lord. He knew everything about my heart, what could i possibly have locked or hidden? I took it with a grain of salt and moved on thinking maybe that word wasn't really meant for me.
Later that December i went to a convention called The OneThing Conference. It's held every year in downtown Kansas City with thousands of participants. It is 4 days filled with worship and teaching. During one of the night sessions, Allen Hood, who is the President of the International House of Prayer prayed over the youth and college students in the building, asking God to reveal more of Himself to them in dreams just like Joel 2:28 mentions. At that point, i had never had a prophetic dream before.
After the conference i went home and that Sunday night i had a dream. I was running fast, pushing, pursing and trying to tell people something that was of great importance but nobody would listen to me. I was frustrated, flustered and annoyed. Nobody seemed to care. I was having to push past people who were trying to stop me from telling people which made me try even harder. My dream finally ended as i was approaching the doors of somebody of great importance, almost like i was approaching a throne and then i woke up. Immediately i felt the need to read Ezekiel 4:9 & 10 which reads,
"And you, take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and emmer, and put them into a single vessel and make your bread from them. During the number of days that you lie on your side, 390 days, you shall eat it. And your food that you eat shall be by weight, twenty shekels a say; from day to day you should eat it."
I had no idea what all of this meant so i consulted some mentors of mine, Sandra and Michele, who would know what to do about it. They prayed for me and i fasted while we waited for more of a revelation. Reading the surrounding chapters it was revealed to us that i was in a time of preparation before i was to walk into a time of awaking dry bones. The scripture revealed to me was the food that Ezekiel lived from in a dry place. We felt that the dry place signified Harding University and the lack of the Holy Spirit. That there was a time about to be entered where the Holy Spirit would reveal himself in ways these college students had never seen before.
Christmas break ends and i return to school. Half way through the semester my friend Monique told me that she had given my name to the board of directors to speak at the Lectureship Harding holds every year. I was shocked and just flattered that my name would even be submitted. There were many names submitted and i just was in awe of what the Lord was doing with my life, that somebody would think me suited enough to speak as a lecturer. I walked away from that conversation just beaming from the delight i felt that the Lord had through me.
In the middle of my spring semester i received the e-mail asking me to speak as a student lecturer at Harding University's 88th Annual Bible Lectureship. Wow. You have got to be kidding me. I was laughing from joy. What an honor and opportunity to speak to the women on campus. All these little details brought me such joy. It was like unwrapping a small piece of a large present every time something happened. I already knew what i was going to speak about.
Soon after i was asked to speak at the lectureship i was sitting in one of my classes where a Bible teacher was telling me that God does not speak to us directly anymore. That prophecy doesn't happen and that those gifts of the Holy Spirit don't exist anymore. Right after he said that God smacked me with a reality that i had been oblivious to all along. That by having me speak at lectureship, he was giving me the desire of my heart. See what i had forgotten was Freshman year sitting in one of the student lectures desiring to one day be able to speak to the women of Harding. My heart longed for it every year, but it wasn't something i, myself, could achieve so i soon forgot about it. So the prophecy was true, there was something on my heart, locked, that God gave to me and that's why i didn't even know what it was. I had never told anyone, not even my mother that i desired this opportunity. But the Father, who gives GOOD and GRACIOUS gifts knows what those desires of our hearts are. I realized all of this while my teacher was telling me that God doesn't work like that anymore, and to that i laughed.
I spoke at lectureship this past fall semester to over 150 women about my struggle with self-confidence and finding my beauty. I talked about how God wants us to love our outward frame, not just our inward. This was a concept not spoken about here. This is why in my dream i am frantically trying to tell people something important. Harding was the dry land where there is a famine of the Holy Spirit. I was to awaken dry bones, to reveal to these women freedom from the captivity that Satan has over our bodies and our minds about our physical frame to which the Lord did.
Even towards the end of the semester i was having women come up to me and talk to me about lectureship. I have even been able to pray over several of them. God is STILL using something that at the very least, told me of His great love for me.
Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
